Immodest Clothing

[tony mattar]

I am in a difficult position... i attend Holy Mass during the week and see very often a person who is dressed highly inappropiatley to step foot in Church and anywhere for that matter...i also know that this person goes to Mass every Sunday and therefore should understand and respect Church teaching...in saying this...how do i talk to her about what she wears without not being prudent...i feel as though anyway i come in contact with her to mention what she is wearing she will seem like i am attacking her and will simply disregard it...the situation i am in is that this person doesnt know me and i dont know her only by face we know eachother...therefore what would be a sensible way and being prudent so she doesnt take offence so i can tell her what she is wearing is disrespectful ?

[New Jack Swinger]

Give her an apple. Archbishop Fulton Sheen would of.

It was only until Eve ate the apple that she realised she was naked.

:)

[tony mattar]

thanks Labban...
anyone else ?

[MelanieM]

On this topic, does a priest have an obligation to refuse entry into a Church to immodestly dressed women and men?

[danieljankovic]

i know exactly who ur talking about tony

[MelanieM]

Daniel, I LOVE your avatar :)

[DavidObeid]

I'd get an older "alpha male" that she respects to talk to her.

[DavidObeid]

Another option would be to get a group of girls who do dress modestly to befriend her and start to hang out with her.

Anyone insecure enough to dress immodestly (yes, that's what I mean) will no doubt follow the lead of those around them and slowly change their dress habits.

This is a numbers game though, and you need the girls you "send in" to be 100% rock solid in their own understanding of chastity and modesty, otherwise the bad apple could ruin the group.

[Lagrange]

I am in a difficult position... i attend Holy Mass during the week and see very often a person who is dressed highly inappropiatley to step foot in Church and anywhere for that matter...i also know that this person goes to Mass every Sunday and therefore should understand and respect Church teaching...in saying this...how do i talk to her about what she wears without not being prudent...i feel as though anyway i come in contact with her to mention what she is wearing she will seem like i am attacking her and will simply disregard it...the situation i am in is that this person doesnt know me and i dont know her only by face we know eachother...therefore what would be a sensible way and being prudent so she doesnt take offence so i can tell her what she is wearing is disrespectful ?

Given your relation to her, I don't think it'd be your responsibility to approach her concerning the matter. Obviously, if you reasonably suspected she would take your advice, then it's reasonable to correct her, but if you don't know her, you can't really presume that necessarily. The fact she attends Mass weekly unfortunately is not an indicator she respects or is even aware of Church teaching, given today's confusion.

Probably best to just pray for her, and if the parish priest is doing his job, he would mention the necessity of modesty from the pulpit, in bulletins etc.

[Maiden Dame]

This has to be my favourite topic lol At one stage or another a female has worn some what immodest clothing in her life.. To live in Australia (hot weather) and in a society that is so open, it is a challenge to uphold a full committment to wearing modest clothing (not to mention the lack of it in stores). I dont think i dress immodestly to church and i have changed how i dress when i go out but not because someone told me but because i really realised the value and importance of MY HOLY body (this is still a work in progress but Gods mission is never finished for me). If she goes to church everyweek, she will know that she is the walking Tabernacle of Christ every time she takes the Eucharist.. It was through Theology of the Body and prayer to Mary that a person will reconsider their outfit and change.. Just by staring at her and meditating you fall in love with her, you would want to be like her.. i highly recommend her to go to talks, bible studies and any sort of religious lectures she can attend. They are so affirmating and positive that she wont find the need to attract attention to herself by wearing these clothes. She will be so happy and in love with God that her confidence wont require that. Also a suggestion, ask her would she wear that if Jesus Christ was standing next to her or Mary? Would she feel embaressed or ashamed? Every act you do should be pleasing to God and if you wouldnt do it if they were physically standing next to you then you shouldnt do it all because technically Jesus is always with us (he is Omnipresent). The closer you get to God and really know him, if your relationship with him is strong, you will know that the way your dressing is inappropriate to him.. Afterall, we are only dressing to please God.. Holy Mass is not about the individual but about Jesus, the reason why i think the Priest should take more action in refussal of entry into the church or to the Eucharist is that when they walk in (or up the aisle), they are taking away the attention from the alter and placing it on themselves.. I think a female should approach her who you think is a good example of modesty yet is down to earth. You want her to connect with the person so she can value what she says. Concentrate more on the value and importance of the gift God gave her (her body) rather than the attention she brings as it may seem like your attacking, judging or even jelous.. i have MANY occasions when i have gone about this the wrong way so it is veryyyy important to be considerate and careful with your words.. Get to know her, form a friendship with her and then discuss her life before you bring up that topic because you dont know her reasons why she dresses in that way.. They may not know better or feel insecure and this is the way they are crying out for attention.. Also, parents are a major factor in this as well because if there parents let them walk out that way and dont object, your going to have a very distastful discussion with her.. We need to start with parenting the parents on modesty before we can start on the youth! I think after a weeknight Holy Mass a priest should approach her and have a chat to her. He will best be able to handle the situation and know exactly what to say and how to say it..

[Soli Deo Gloria]

Go Sandy digging up some interesting oldies! lol

I agree with this point Sandy makes:

“ I think a female should approach her who you think is a good example of modesty yet is down to earth. You want her to connect with the person so she can value what she says. Concentrate more on the value and importance of the gift God gave her (her body) rather than the attention she brings as it may seem like your attacking, judging or even jelous..”

I don’t think it’s going to work for Tony to approach her himself, especially if he isn't good friends with her.

When correcting girls who are more lukewarm in the faith, you have to take special care not to ever take a harsh or judging tone – it’ll push them away as they’ll feel unwelcome there and will only associate the Faith with negativity. It's another one of the reasons why our Faith always encourages to be loving, caring & charitable with all --- it’s attractive!:)

Ill tell you what works (& has even enlightened me:)) – having people talking about it alot. Whether on facebook, the priests or just girlfriends, if people hear it talked about as an issue, they’ll pay more attention to their dress. If you have her as a fb friend, post modestly links, post statuses, engage in discussions on the topic on fb etc, and encourage your friends to do the same – if it’s always in her news feed & coming up in conversations she’s going to notice.

Just plant seeds Tony from a distance without specifically targeting her and overtime she’ll slowly put some larger pieces of material on;) lol.
Good luck Champ:) God bless

[Petersmate]

perhaps you could tell the priest to show her this


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWKipaNH83E

[Charbela]

What church is this? The church I attend during the weekdays has no one but a handfull of dedicated oldies covered from head to toe. I feel like im the odd one out.

[New Jack Swinger]

The Naked Truth About Modesty clip posted above has to be one of the best videos I have seen that hits the nail on the head when it comes to modest dress for girls and guys.

I do agree with the posts made about being able to establish a personal relationship with the person before discussing modesty, although if it does come up in discussion one should not run from expressing the truth of modesty always delivered in a charitable tone and giving the reasons for modesty - not just taking on the approach of causing others to sin. That is one of the reasons but not THE reason.

And yeah I am all for dress codes. They have dress codes at all places, and unfortunately it has come to a point where people need to be told what to wear. If the Vatican has a dress code, so should every Catholic Church with a sign outlining what is and what is not permissible.

Please spread this video around, it's content is gold.

[Stephen Spiteri]

http://www.catholicmodesty.com/Vatican_Dress_Code_Sign.jpg

[Maiden Dame]

I must say, those signs would be great at Our Lady of Lebanon but i think half the congregation would be embaressed and leave. I guess it will be a test to seperate those who's genuine intentions in coming to church from the general fashion statements lol