Dressing immodestly

[MelanieM]

This is a disturbing issue in our world today and also amongst some practicing Catholics.

Can someone please outline the importance of dressing well (modestly) starting from a biblical basis, and the effects on others that dressing immodestly has.

Personally, I am awfully concerned about this issue.

[Stephen Spiteri]

Here are some scripture verses that may be of help in understanding of the importance of dressing modestly:

"I desire, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument; also that the women should dress themselves modestly and decently in suitable clothing, not with their hair braided, or with gold, pearls, or expensive clothes, but with good works, as is proper for women who profess reverence for God." - 1 Timothy 2:8-10

"when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Do not adorn yourselves outwardly by braiding your hair, and by wearing gold ornaments or fine clothing; rather, let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight. It was in this way long ago that the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by accepting the authority of their husbands." 1 Peter 3:2-5

We should also come to the sacred liturgy appropriately dressed. As Christians we should dress in a modest manner, wearing clothes that reflect our reverence for God and that manifest our respect for the dignity of the liturgy and for one another.

Jason Evert from Catholic.com (also a very good author covering the topic of teen chastity), has this article on their website (an excerpt from his book, If You Really Loved Me) addressing modesty and appropriate attire: http://www.catholic.com/chastity/Q4.asp

Here's a snippet:

So what is modesty? It is not about looking as ugly as possible. It's about taking the natural beauty of womanhood, and adorning it in a way that adequately reflects her true identity. She is a daughter of the king of heaven, and her outfits, posture, and mannerisms don't distract from this. She's aware that her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, and that her body is sacred. This brings about a certain humility of the body, since humility is the proper attitude towards greatness. In this case, it is the greatness of being made in the image and likeness of God.

I hope that helps.

[MelanieM]

Thanks Stephen.

[MelanieM]

This is a great quote from the article: Unfortunately, many women are so preoccupied with turning men's heads that they overlook their power to turn our hearts.

[MelanieM]

Here's some more:

Let's assume that a girl dresses provocatively and she comes across a genuinely good man. The man is no better off because of her outfit. Men are more visually stimulated than women, and immodesty can easily trigger lustful thoughts. When men harbor these impure ideas, lust separates us from Christ, the source of unconditional love. Does a woman really want to separate men from the source of the unconditional love that she seeks? If not, then why not opt for the more modest outfit? There's nothing wrong with wearing things that make you look attractive, but as a Christian woman, seductive and sexy outfits should not be part of your wardrobe. If your heart is saying, "Is this too short?" or "Does this look too tight?", listen to that voice. It has already answered your question.

[danieljankovic]

Excellent verses Stephen Spireti. I agree with your last quote completely MelanieM, and not trying to make excuses for man but it is kind of hard to pray in Church when there is so much around you.

I rekon we should bring back suits to the Mass :) or atleast suit pants and a button up shirt for the guys and some sort of dress and veil for the women. It would look oldschool :)

[Matthew]

I would post it up here but the text is too long. Great article on modesty:

http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0130.htm

[MelanieM]

Thanks Matthew :)

[Stephen Spiteri]

Excellent verses Stephen Spiteri.
"Stephen" will suffice. ;)

[Julianne]

http://www.catholic.com/chastity/Q4.asp
WOW wow x 100 this article is so good and so eye opening , thank you for sharing

[MelanieM]

I really hope that who ever reads this discussion understands and puts into practice what it says.

God bless

[Stephen Spiteri]

No problem, Julianne. You can learn more about Jason Evert (author of that particular article) and his wife, Crystalina, at their website: http://www.chastity.com/

[Julianne]

Thank you, i'll definately check it out now .

[DavidObeid]

Selling the idea that women can look modest and well dressed is a tough ask in some circles.

I see lots of people's "party" and "formal" pictures on facebook where you'd swear that "formal" or "dressed up" somehow means "less clothes" or "more skin".

[MelanieM]

Disgusting - the dress, not the people.

[DavidObeid]

I don't think that changing a lot of people's ideas on this issue is possible without having the message come from people that they look up to. Me walking up to some girl and saying something like, "You know, you are a really pretty girl, you don't need to dress that way to look good," will have about a millionth of the effect that (say) her dad would have if he said the same thing.

[Matthew]

I was speaking to a young lady friend of mine recently on what has helped shaped her views on dressing modesty. The main source she mentioned was her father.

[MelanieM]

I don't think that changing a lot of people's ideas on this issue is possible without having the message come from people that they look up to. Me walking up to some girl and saying something like, "You know, you are a really pretty girl, you don't need to dress that way to look good," will have about a millionth of the effect that (say) her dad would have if he said the same thing.

Possibly, though it's hard not to change after reading the reasons in such posted articles, they should be good enough reason for anyone to dress modestly. How much clearer does one to be.

[Camille]

Only one person as mentioned what men wear. Can we please not forget that young men who wear tight singlets and t-shirts do so for the same reasons that some women dress the way they do. Modesty is not something that only women should take notice of...

[DavidObeid]

Possibly, though it's hard not to change after reading the reasons in such posted articles, they should be good enough reason for anyone to dress modestly. How much clearer does one to be.

Any kind of conversion is ultimately an act of the will (heart). You can give all of the intellectual (head) arguments (and indeed at least some are necessary), but but gets people to act on what is in their head is their will.

It's why we need to love others. If they don't see our love they will be less likely to open their hearts to what we are saying.

My suggestion that a girl's dad will have more impact on her than my words is underpinned by the fact that the girl loves her dad more than she loves me and hence will be more open to what he says (even if he says word for word the same thing as me).

[DavidObeid]

Only one person as mentioned what men wear. Can we please not forget that young men who wear tight singlets and t-shirts do so for the same reasons that some women dress the way they do. Modesty is not something that only women should take notice of...

I agree, even though an immodest man is generally less of a stumbling block to women than an immodest woman is to men.

I wonder if this will change over time as the pill tampers with female hormones across the population? Just a thought. You might find this article interesting:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1218808/Contraceptive-pill-women-attracted-masculine-men--interested-boyish-looks.html

[Anthony Succar]

Can we please not forget that young men who wear tight singlets and t-shirts

You're right Camille...but in my case I can't help it, I've been gifted with the body of a Greek god and it's my responsibility to share it with the rest of the world:cool::D

[Stephen Spiteri]

...I've been gifted with the body of a Greek god...
Yes, Aphrodite's body.

:D

[DavidObeid]

Yes, Aphrodite's body.

:D

Which brings us back to the article I mentioned in my post.

[jzeitouni]

Just thought I would share one of my favourite quotes of all time. It's by St John Chrysostom and I think it perfectly defines why immodesty is wrong...

"You carry your snare everywhere and spread your nets in all places. You allege that you never invited others to sin. You did not, indeed, by your words, but you have done so by your dress and your deportment. ... When you have made another sin in his heart, how can you be innocent? Tell me, whom does this world condemn? Whom do judges punish? Those who drink poison or those who prepare it and administer the fatal potion? You have prepared the abominable cup, you have given the death dealing drink, and you are more criminal than are those who poison the body; you murder not the body but the soul. And it is not to enemies you do this, nor are you urged on by any imaginary necessity, nor provoked by injury, but out of foolish vanity and pride."

[MelanieM]

One of my all time faves too :) thanks for posting, nice signature ;)

[MelanieM]

That emoticon is scaring me! It's suppose to be a wink!

[MaronKnight]

Prov. 11:22 - Like a gold ring in a pig's snout, is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.

[danieljankovic]

[QUOTE=jzeitouni;1352]Just thought I would share one of my favourite quotes of all time. It's by St John Chrysostom...QUOTE]

My favourite St John Chrysostom quote is in my sig lol!

[jzeitouni]

Daniel I tried putting my quote in my sig but it wouldnt let me cos it was too long lol
But he sure is one fiery Saint, and I love it :)

[Mary Elizabeth]

I have always believed that if we wish entrance to Heaven and admittance to the Church Triumphant we must have a "family resemblance".
This "likeness" must be in spirit and body.
They will know us by the love we have one for another...if we love each other we will reflect that in word and deed...that includes the way in which we present ourselves...or represent the Body of Christ.

[MelanieM]

Either we must speak as we dress, or dress as we speak. Why do we profess one thing and display another? The tongue talks of chastity, but the whole body reveals impurity.
- St Jerome

[DavidObeid]

I have always believed that if we wish entrance to Heaven and admittance to the Church Triumphant we must have a "family resemblance".
This "likeness" must be in spirit and body.
They will know us by the love we have one for another...if we love each other we will reflect that in word and deed...that includes the way in which we present ourselves...or represent the Body of Christ.

That's lovely Mary Elizabeth!